Gaijin SMASH

I've given up trying to fit into Japan. At all times I'm aware of being watched, noticed and judged. And I realised after reading a book called the "Blue Eyed Salaryman" - a story about an Irish guy who made it into Mitsubishi and became a life employee - that even if I DID understand the culture and language completely, I'd never fit in anyway!! I think foreigners make up 3% of the population, so it kind of figures that the foreign are noticed - particularly the large girl with the mushroom cut stomping around in Doc Martens.

Now that I've had this realisation though, I'm making like the Hulk and Gaijin Smashing at every opportunity!

Basically, Gaijin Smashing is the wilful breaking of Japanese rules (perhaps unspoken or assumed) by one who is not Japanese. Gaijin - it means literally "outside person" = gai/outside, jin/person. The Japanese are Nihonjin.

So when I'm eating an apple (skin ON), crossing the road at a red light, pushing back on the train and blowing my nose in public, I'm enjoying it! It's like being given permission to be dumb. In fact, it's expected!

Recently, Gareth, Mirabel and I went to USJ. I don't think we Gaijin Smashed it (much) but we had good times in this dated land of madness. It was January, but they were still blaring Christmas Carols. One of the attractions was "Backdraft - the Movie". Interviews conducted with the stars and directors were overdubbed in Japanese. It was surreal and hilarious. Other rides we went on were Spiderman, Terminator 2, Peppermint Patties waterslide (the crappest thing I've ever done - a 30 minute wait to slide down in freezing water for 2 minutes), Jaws, Jurassic Park , Back to the Future and Hollywood Dream - an epic rollercoaster which had me screaming, holding my breath, blocking my ears and squeezing my eyes shut all at the same time.

I know this sounds ridiculous, but when I saw this Universal globe I almost cried...why? I think I was overwhelmed and surprised that I was there! When I was a kid, the thought of coming here was impossible. And suddenly, here I am in Japan, taking a train to "Universal City" and walking right in! I sound like I was born in Rwanda or something...

Perfectly manicured Hello Kitty's at the Hello Kitty Shop ^_^

This is when I knew things were gonna get good.

This is some sort of rapping, singing, break dancing Sesame Street "crew", bringing the message of fruit and vegetables to the tune of Can't Touch This.

I couldn't take my eyes off this Cookie Monster veritable midget. He was moving way too fast for my liking. Cookie Monster is FAT and FULL, he can't move with the speed of lightening!!

I resisted the urge to rush up to Big Bird - who kept looking at me - and doing something...not sure what exactly.

Laters homies.

Some stuff from JURASSIC PARK - the actual gate and cars!!!

And that's about it. I was a bit lazy with taking pics. But overall - it was an pricey experience that I enjoyed; but I don't need to go back there probably ever again.